How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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