rhymes with "ouble enetration"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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