If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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