i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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