Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
