quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
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