He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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