I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
