he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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