It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
