She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize