ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i would one night stand the shit outta him
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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