just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
