I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
