The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
