Are we in a gay sports bar?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
