my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Houston, we have a blender
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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