Grow some girl-balls and come out already
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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