apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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