Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
