Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
