worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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