so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
