census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize