everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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