he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
