do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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