don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
