She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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