K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
