My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize