If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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