once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
