There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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