Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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