GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
