You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
