They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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