would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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