Don't you send me to vm
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
