I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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