I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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