you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
