tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
