As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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