I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
