i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
