Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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