I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Do vagina's smell?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
