I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize