whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
