my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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