So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize