Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Randomize
