Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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