Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
