Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
