I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
