Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
