Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
